While the word no may be hard for some of us to say because we don’t want to seem rude, un-thoughtful or uncaring, what’s truly hard is to take on more than we can handle and make the rest of our lives chaotic…if continually feeling more obligated to others then to the quality of our life doesn’t make us physically sick, this dynamic can certainly feel like an emotional cancer. … More 10 Resources To Help You Protect Your Self Care By Saying No
What’s in the cup is my sustenance, it’s mine. We as women were never meant to give from our sustenance but boy has the world done a good job at convincing us otherwise. Social conditioning gives us kudos for being self sacrificing and “good” in having a sort of stamina in giving.
When I give from my sustenance with others, it can set me up to feel resentful, used and bitter. The selfless giving turns into a undercurrent of martyrdom that feels heavy and dis-empowering. … More Giving From The Overflow, Not Our Reserves
I had rage from not having permission to speak my thoughts and heart as a child, rage over my molestation from an uncle, loathing towards being a woman because I saw that much of what I lived through wouldn’t of been a reality had I been born a man. I also became aware of how guilty I felt for just taking up space, actual physical space. I felt wrong just for existing and boy did the people I attract into my life once I left home, reflect that. … More 5 Self Care Gifts That Heal The Mother Wound
I remember feeling so ashamed for the moments I experienced feelings of callousness towards his cries because I was so terribly sleep deprived. I fought the instinct to sleep and eat along with all the ridiculous thoughts that came from that, to tend to him as lovingly as I could. Who raise their children in times of war, famine and natural disasters? … More How Our Mothers Influence Our Self Care
I seesawed many times until I realized that their being upset was their business. If I was starting to care for myself, felt the best I ever had, and they didn’t like it, then that said more about them than me…we had been living comfortably in a small box of norms that we created with many silent assumptions. Remaining in that box had become painful, much more painful, then being on the receiving end of their disappointment. … More Are Your Self Care Efforts Rocking The Boat?
I know for me the biggest kicker when I’m around people that trigger me is the social hangover of being upset with myself for letting the dynamic sway me into acting in ways I later regret. These cards are like a self care kit in your pocket that helps bring the focus back to you to check in with yourself on how you’re doing and what you need. … More Self Care Cards For Difficult Social Situations
There is also a price to this bounty, the more gifts…the more responsibility…
Regarding the complex subjects of my life, my conscience many times to my dread, has let me know that the best choice is the tough and inconvenient one. The one that will result in obvious, uncomfortable even painful consequences before the good part comes. Consequences that ask me to take a risk into the unknown, where things are not clearly laid out and logical. … More The Surprising Gift & Challenge From Being Regular In Your Self Care
Have you already made your Thanksgiving plan phone calls? Have you been squeezing in your research on ticket deals and texts about what desserts to bring on your breaks ? Have you been holding a conversation with yourself in the back of your mind about what you’ll wear? In the background of all this … More Why you need a social hangover self care kit
Is the idea of visiting people you love for the holidays dragged down by the idea of having to interact with that one out of bounds person that always manages to get under your skin and derail your good time?
Saying no to certain kinds of interaction is also much easier when you’re clear about the deeper freedom you’re saying yes to. It’s freeing to be able to be ourselves without having to worry about our emotional safety in social situations. This is easier when we make it clear to those around us what we will not tolerate and what we will wholeheartedly contribute to. … More How to Take Control of Your Holiday’s With 3 Social Self Care Lists
You swear that aside from those situations with THOSE people, you’re actually a nice person, you’re actually not that crazy… As intensely as you are devastated by it and may want to avoid the situation, your every repetition of this awful dance strengthens your entanglement with it. … More How Good Morning Routines Obliterate Your Drama Triggers