Making time for our self care in our busy schedules, ultimately results in saying no to what was once in its place. Whether it be TV watching, a commitment we realized could be best done by someone else or time with company that was more comfortable than genuine.
Reality Is Unveiled
Today I’ll share about this last one. I can only speak for myself in that, when I changed what I had always done, I unknowingly rocked a boat I didn’t know I was in.
There were people I considered close to me, that had quietly come to certain conclusions about who I was and what place I had in their lives that I was completely unaware of.
Haters Came Out of The Woodwork
A pattern had developed with those people in which they would come to me as an ear and source of solace to all of their life woes, yet when I shared what things I was doing to change my woes, they refused to be receptive, much less supportive. I felt obliged to be loyal to them because I had known them for so long, some of them were family. This unhealthy dependency had developed and had only become obvious to me, when I began to put more attention on my own self care.
Non-Approvers of My Self Care
Those that were in my life because they saw my heart, were pleasantly surprised, happy for me and had been waiting for me to make the changes. Those that hung around because I provided a sort of sustenance ( and I lacked the discernment to see their intentions), were angry as heck.
There were many instances I retracted in my steps due to the discomfort of seemingly inciting that much drama from those people. I mistakenly registered their strong response as evidence that I was making a wrong choice, that couldn’t of been farther from the truth.
Moment of Truth
I seesawed many times until I realized that their being upset was their business. If I was starting to care for myself, felt the best I ever had, and they didn’t like it, then that said more about them than me.
The ugly truth came to light that we had been comfortably living in a small box of norms that we created, through many silent assumptions. Remaining in that box had become painful, much more painful, then being on the receiving end of their disappointment.
Discomfort = Proof of Change
Once I accepted this truth, I decided the discomfort was my rite of passage into a new life. As those people began to drop out of my life, the amount of deep freedom and lightness outweighed the sadness from feeling abandoned, used and betrayed. A weight had come off me and the “comfortable” presence they provided paled in comparison to the quickening in my heart.
Self care is not for the faint of heart. It takes courage to change and allow our lives to get messy and uncertain at first, but the treasure of living more purposefully and feeling more at home in our own skin is well worth it.
Are their beneficiaries in your life that are not ok with your self care efforts?
Are you going through your own rite of passage into a life of self love right now?
How are you navigating that?
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Sending you love, a reminder to take care of yourself and a big thank you for stopping by!