In light of mother’s day this month, I’m taking the opportunity to celebrate a subject profoundly captivating to me, the feminine. If you’re a man reading this right now, don’t be quick to leave, you have a feminine aspect and if you don’t understand that, reading this post will make a difference in your life for the better. Humor me and continue reading.
We all have feminine and masculine aspects as humans. They are the yin and yang, the alpha and omega, the up and down and the cold and hot of life. Both are sacred, both are needed and both make life satisfying…when in balance.
These elemental aspects of creation say hello through us from the big expressions such as, our chosen careers, cars we drive, right down to the details of our general tone of voice and environment in our home.
The feminine is that aspect of life that is soft, flowing, inward and receptive. She creates, intuits, nourishes, embraces, reflects, dances and empathizes. In nature she is the primordial impulse in birds that causes them to dance to attract their mates. She is the urge in them to build their nest.
The masculine aspect is outward oriented, it moves forward towards a target, with restraint, discipline and logic. It asserts, structures and plans. The masculine as I see it, is a supporter of the flowing energy and contains it. If in nature the feminine is the mother bird creating the egg and nurturing it with its own body heat, the masculine is the nest itself containing the egg making sure it’s supported and safe. It is also the male bird keeping an eye out for predators and supporting its partner.
The Hunger to Be Mothered
The world today is experiencing an ardent hunger for more of the feminine, having reached (hopefully by now) it’s limits of human cruelty and greed. The extreme examples of pursuit of profits over humanity are expressions of overemphasis in the masculine and devaluing of the feminine.
Rich Executives Looking to “Take the Edge Off”
This can be seen in the media everyday when we hear of scandals regarding people in high stakes, competitive work cultures, covertly indulging in dark and highly riskay forms of recreation.
To maintain that extreme level of drive, focus and aggressiveness without surrendering to our innate instinct to let ourselves be nourished with rest, pleasure and play is to, in time, distort a naturally healthy primordial urge. The longer one deprives oneself of feminine nourishment, the more tempting extreme expressions of it become.
Too Much Drive, Not Enough Play
The urge eventually grows beyond our control and it expresses itself sideways, many times through addiction or pleasure at the expense of others. The over emphasis on producing, planning, rationalizing, obtaining and controlling leaves little space to rest, reflect, feel, connect and be.
My Mothering Urge
The inception of this blog came from an overflow of gratitude for the gift of having nursed my feminine self back to life. In perhaps a silly way I feel like I mother whoever reads this blog. Every aspect of my blog from the colors of the site, to the words I use and the topics I cover are an expression of my mother heart wanting to encourage, support, embrace, and hug everyone through my words. The very topic of self care to me, is very feminine as our first teachers of self care are our mothers.
Our Own Mothering Stories
Our mothers were our models for how to feed, bathe, clothe ourselves and keep our environments. They literally taught us, or if they were not wholeheartedly mothered didn’t teach us, how to care for ourselves.
Fathers I see teach us how to navigate the world, how to interact with others, discriminate who people are, where they’re coming from and if their company is in our best interest. Father’s model for us how to be a good steward of ourselves and our corner of the world.
I’m not a psychiatrist, I didn’t write a book on this, this is just my take on it.
Strengthen The Feminine In Yourself
So what do we do to increase the feminine in our lives? For starters look at your self care and how you nourish you body, mind and heart yet I think there is more that can be done.
Build it, It Will Come
Years ago I read an article about an aboriginal community that when faced with a challenge within the community first created a physical remediation of what they felt needed to happen within a relationship. If they perceived a bridge of understanding needed to be made, they literally went out into their environment and sought a location where a physical bridge was needed and built it.
Focus On the Self, Balanced With Action in The World
I wholeheartedly believe that the most powerful thing we can do for a more fulfilling life above the dreaming, the affirmations and meditation is to take action outside of yourself. If you want more of the feminine in your life, increase it in the world.
Millennial’s Self Centeredness
We as millennial’s though can be guilty of going off the far end in optimizing, improving and “caring” for ourselves. There has to comes a point where we say “enough” and go outside ourselves to reach out to those who are barely making it.
We are the privileged minority on the planet that has the luxury to afford the supplements, superfoods, organic produce, shared interest conferences, rejuvenating retreats etc. The majority of people on the planet today would need a year to save up enough money to buy one bottle of supplements that we use every month.
When we support the mothers around us we strengthen the feminine instinct in us to protect what is humane, decent, vibrant and vulnerable. The world desperately needs it today. Here is a list of ideas
Take Action List
Find a single mother in your neighborhood and
- Offer to watch her child for an hour this month
- Drop off a self care basket with all the goodies like bath salts, a journal, a framed motivating quote, good chocolate and a massage gift card.
- Anonymously give her a grocery gift card
- Anonymously give her a gas gift card
- Put a note of appreciation of what a good mother she is in her mailbox.
Do you know a new mother?
- Drop off a meal
- Offer to take out the garbage,
- Offer to do a load of baby laundry
- Offer to watch the baby for an hour
She will be aghast with overflowing gratitude, trust me.
Domestic Violence Survivors
Domestic violence shelters are maxed out with mothers and their children needing refuge from violent partners. Here is a list of places to strategically give to
- Here is a link to a page of wish lists on Amazon. Take your pick on everything from rugs to shaving cream!
- The Crisis Center, a domestic violence center in South Elgin I.L. that provides counseling and housing for families for up to 6 months while helping them transition to a safe, empowered and financially independent new life. http://www.crisiscenter.org/
- WINGS, The biggest domestic violence housing agency in Illinois http://wingsprogram.com/
- Amma.org is a global network of charities that fund housing for orphaned children, emergency disaster relief, free education, ecological rehabilitation and much more. http://amma.org
- Saving Innocence is an amazing non profit that is rescuing child victims of sex trafficking. $20 a month helps one child for a year!
- Bumi Sehat, I had the privilege of meeting Robin Lim over 15 years ago when her daughter was a classmate of mine. Her efforts of midwifing safe births for women in Indonesia were still young then but her dedication and sacrifice have nurtured what is a thriving organization today.
- KIVA is an outstanding non profit that specializes in micro loans around the world. best in micro loans
- Save The Mothers improves the health of mothers and babies by training local leaders in developing countries
If you found this post helpful please like, comment or share. As usual thanks for stopping by!
*My apologies on this post actually showing up on my site on the 6th and not the 4th, there were some technical difficulties