How Finding Your Bigness Changes Everything

 

 

How finding Your Sun Nectar

Common Sources of Energy

We all know the difference between the feeling of being energized from something or being depleted by it. Our senses consume what’s around us through the food we eat, what we read, listen to, touch, our interactions with people etc.  If they benefit us we feel stronger, more clear, happier. If they don’t, we are exhausted, confused, tired, irritable.

 

We Consume Through Our Senses

We’ve all been there. For example when you find an awesomely flattering and comfortable piece of clothing in the perfect color. Wearing that clothing immediately amps up your confidence from 1 to 100. Or when you’re having a funky day and you fall for the tempting junk food. Your energy and mood then plummet a few notches further on the funky scale. In this light, morning power routines can be a devoted time slot in your day where you optimally use the things in your environment  in exchange for the most energy possible.

 

Choosing Our Prompts

Everyone has their own prompts to get into certain mental and emotional states. I think that’s why monks and nuns traditionally live such a regimented life, their rituals prompt certain states they want amplified. It took me years to find the ones that most gave rise to the feelings of clarity, centeredness, focus, reverence and vigor.

 

The Biggest Enchilada

There is  an experience we can nudge ourselves to having that has the biggest influence over our happiness, energy and fulfillment.  It’s hard to put into words, but for me this experience is one of feeling a part of something bigger than me, that is embracing and benevolent.  For lack of better words let’s just call this experience the “bigness”. Some people have stumbled upon this “bigness” on accident perhaps out on a picturesque hike, witnessing their child’s birth or volunteering for a charitable cause.

 

Accidentally Tapping Into IT

Growing up I unexpectedly came upon the “bigness” at different times : while dancing my heart out, writing streams of consciousness, feeling loved in a relationship or jogging. This experience would last for a few seconds to a few minutes. When in it my thinking brain would be overridden by what I was doing and I would find myself completely present. It stood out starkly to me because it was so refreshing, like I floundered onto a spring. I’d feel so deeply nourished by it that all else in my life paled in comparison. Feelings of being assured, time stopping, total inner quiet and  peaceful warmth would prevail and in it’s wake, insights would come that made life easier. This happened randomly at best.

 

No Props Please

I stumbled for years trying to trigger this ”bigness” more intentionally by jogging past the same places, at the same time and pace, even in the same outfit as I did the last time that bigness experience came to me. I feebly repeated these efforts in dancing, writing and my relationships  trying to get the outside “prompts” juuust right to have that bigness come again.

 

Finesse Over Force

I learned it couldn’t be forced but only internally finessed.

These activities all had in common one thing, they helped me to internally let go and allow myself to just be.

At some point I connected that I needed an activity that required the least amount of “props” to help in this inner finessing. Jogging depended on the weather and was interrupted by injuries. Dance wouldn’t work when I traveled since I didn’t always have the physical space. Writing didn’t work for me because I didn’t like how it took up so much physical space to store all those notebooks (typing on a laptop wasn’t the same). Of course relationships couldn’t be a stable source of IT, they changed so much all the time. To experience that “bigness” has been an internal tightrope walk and my most important life’s work.

When I found the way that worked best for me it took my power routines to a whole other level. My bigness inducing practice became the most important non negotiable activity in my mornings that everything else became scheduled around. It’s my one thing that if nothing else happens, happens.

 

You Show Up, It Will Come

Meditation was a fit for me. It could be done injury or not, snow or not, no matter where I traveled no matter how my or my loved one’s mood was.  It just required me sitting and doing it.

It took years to find the meditative practice that worked best for me. It took longer to finally find the nerve to commit to making it a part of my daily life by fiercely protecting its time slot in my day.

 

Digging deep about WHY this experience was important to me helped me to muster the discipline needed to commit.

I figured that like the movie Field of Dreams, “You build it they will come”, if I showed up every day and practiced that prop-less, “bigness” -inducing activity, the chances of that experience happening increased.

 

It Worked!

It’s been 7 years since I committed to my daily practice and that experience has come more regularly. There is no guarantee that I will have that, at times rapturous bigness every day and as I sit down every morning, in the hopes of being met by IT, all these other unexpected benefits have come. I could make an article on only the benefits I get from it but wont here. Allow me though, to rampage a little on how having this “bigness” inducing practice effects my life.

 

Big Benefits

When that “Bigness” does come it’s like being filled up by a fuel that is the densest, most concentrated, longest lasting, most fulfilling and multi faceted.

Like catching a sip of sun nectar whose warmth and concentration steadies my ever changing moods. It fills me, if even for a few seconds, with effulgence.

The clarity that comes from it makes moving through my day full of ease, effectiveness and most importantly kindness for myself and others. I get that ever precious and gradually increasing bandwidth to pause before I react to people. The bandwidth to observe when I’m being harshly judgmental towards myself and shift before I create a domino effect of more painfully obvious consequences.  The bandwidth to take a breath in a seemingly “urgent” situation and see more options than the limited, obvious ones I’m being presented with.

Energy from my green smoothie, hanging out with friends or listening to my favorite music pales in comparison. It is also more subtle and takes more work to get quiet enough inside, to open to it. I know it’s kind of contradictory to put in effort to eventually let go. The effort though comes in showing up, once I’m there and begin the practice the letting go begins and it’s relief, always

 

The Seeming Less Than Big, is Still Big

Even when that zone doesn’t meet me, I have come to know at times a loving space where I face my hard, badgering emotions, fully, to finally let them go. The closest I’ve gotten to that satisfaction before is the spacious relief felt after cleaning out my basement. I’ve experienced comfort in my heartbreak and solutions to even the most mundane smallish of things. Having my practice is like having a constant companion that is way bigger than me, that has my back at all times, through all things. A constantly pulsing force that is loving on me through all the frustrations, confusions, seeming failures, celebrations, delights, lulls and shocks of life. It enhances how much more gracefully I express and receive love, how effectively I execute plans and manage all the resources around me. An indisputable, constant, personal, gentle, benevolent and even majestic power at the very core of my everyday life, nudging me forward into more life.

 

The further I get into my practice with time, the more I feel like I am only at the edge of a vast, ocean of wholesomeness and possibility. As I invest my time to be in it’s presence every day it’s like love insurance, where the benefits just accrue. Experiencing this bigness is at my core knowing, my very foundation. It feeds all the good in my life and is the underbelly of all I do and have. IT is the truest thing I know.

 

Bigness for All!

This experience is available free of charge, tax or shipping fees, brought to you by life. If you have found the way that works for you cheers! One more person experiencing this regularly helps everyone! If you haven’t, the fee is in time and energy to find the way that works best for you. I chant a Sanskrit text. It’s not for everyone, but it so beautifully works for me.

 

All Rivers Going Into the Same Ocean

The way to connect with this “Bigness” is different for everyone. Walks on the beach, watching a flame, dancing, writing, meditation, jogging, reading the Bible, Tao Te Ching, Gita, Quran, writing gratitude lists, singing, making music, making art, completing daily a number of acts of kindness, volunteering or gardening. There is a variety of traditional and nontraditional ways to go about it. Try out different things and see what is a match for you and then…commit. Commit to showing up to it as regularly as you can even if in small bites at first. That is where the real magic  and transformation has been for me. You know you’re there when what you’re doing feels like you’re on sacred ground and is the most important thing you could be doing.

So I’d love to know, what has been your Bigness experience?

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