Why We All Need to Replace Our Fixing Habit With an Ease Habit



The typical processes of self help that I’d find in the beginning of my journey were always purely intellectual. They tended to zone in on what’s wrong in a person and talked about what healthy people were like. They rarely gave the in between nuts and bolts on how to create that health.


I got the impression that fully understanding what was wrong would obliterate my problems. Never the case.


Overwhelmed With Not Making The Mark

This intellectual approach was a good beginning but never resulted in the permanent transformation I was looking for. If anything, it only added fuel to the fire of my further seeing myself as broken. Approaching the task of “fixing me” was overwhelming in this light. I read hundreds of self help books and even astrology and numerology books intending to get to the heart of who I was in order to put my laser beam analytical powers on what was wrong and proceed to burn rubber fixing it ASAP so I could start to live my REAL life.


Zoning in on the good

My path in finding what worked for me instead led me time and time again to zone in on what strengthened me, lightened me up  and brought more ease body, mind and heart.  By gradually increasing those ease-inducing things into my life, one baby step at a time, I’d observe  through experience that the many stifling habits of thinking were being taken care of on their own. The rubber met the road when I’d experience a situation that in my past would repeatedly bring me strife. Usually In the midst of it or shortly thereafter I realize that this time around I was different. A euphoric surprise that I didn’t expect and certainly did not arrive at through the triumphant process of laser focusing in on my flaws and beating the bejesus out of them by analyzing them at every possible angle.


Ease:The Mother Ship of All Other Good Qualities

The increasing presence of ease in me brought on all other good qualities I wanted; humor, expanded perception, confidence, discipline, focus, patience and kindness for myself and others. Ease in my body feels like relaxed muscles, warmth in my chest and stomach area. With this warmth and un-contracted muscles there is literally more space inside me and my world literally feels bigger. I can see more options at any given time. Whereas when I’m frustrated and my shoulders are tightened and diaphragm in a knot I many times see “no way out” and make decisions  I later regret.

Just as when you turn on the light the darkness is easily removed. I didn’t have to analyze the heck out of the garbage in me, I just had to be committed to daily taking action that increased the light in me.


In what small ways could you increase the ease in your life today by tweaking how you start your day?



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